Kinky Chaos at Osenya’s
Kinky Chaos at Osenya’s

Kinky Chaos at Osenya’s

LAS ALMAS, NV — This past Friday, September 24th, marked what should have been the Grand Opening celebration of the Russian owned club, Osenya, located just off of Beaumont Ave. A night that should have passed in a sinfully lust-filled haze was, instead, ended with a proverbial bucket of ice water. It has been reported that instead of dealing in the kinkery promised by the hostess dressed as a demoness, the woman has undertaken hosting fights in her newly established place of business.

An anonymous worker from the club has given her statement to the Gazette, and describes the scene as “pure chaos”:

“One moment, all these sexy people were making out. They were really going at it! Honestly, I don’t mind it. Hell, I get paid for it, but not enough to deal with what had gone on last night. Some big red head got into a scuff with a Russian guy, and he tossed him right through the window! I could barely keep my head on straight. Honestly, I was scared I was next, but then the women started smashing bottles on each others heads and at one point, the red head tried to drown the Russian in a chocolate fountain!” she looks rather despondent at the thought. “That poor chocolate fountain.”

Allegedly, those responsible for starting the fight scattered before anyone could contact the authorities, and Club Osenya is closed until further notice to recuperate from the damages. With the growing crime in the area, citizens must remain vigilant, and careful, in these trying times. Anyone with a crime to report or a story they’d like to share should contact the Gazette directly.